My palace in Dallas - Will Rhoten (SOBER)

“Solitude requires you to move past reacting to information created by other people and focus instead on your own thoughts and experiences – wherever you happened to be”

— Cal Newport, Digital Minimalism

Hello guys, it's getting warm, isn’t it? I’m writing this as I put away my lovely long-sleeved comrades with tears streaming down my face. As we are almost halfway through the year, I hope you will keep on enjoying what’s more to come with this project, we are officially 3 years old!

I started My Palace in Dallas during the height of the pandemic, and it was born from pure curiosity: I want to know, I want to see, and, most importantly, I want to document what the people around me have become after these unprecedented years. They can be artists, comedians, or they can also be the people you meet on the street—which is quite hard cause supposedly people in Dallas don’t walk at all. So, what is it that they do? This project delves into their stories and, as the name suggests, explores their Palace in Dallas.

Without further ado, allow me to introduce you to Will Rhoten. If you’ve ever gone out in Dallas, you’ve seen or heard Sober’s name in parties and flyers he made, a man of many interests and talents from graffiti, illustration, burger joint, and DJing. We met many years ago when DiscoTX held their first post-pandemic party on Reunion Tower, and many many more after that. Years later, I got to sit down in his lovely, well-organized house in Oak Cliff, we talked about his journey, Beauty Bar, how he was able to keep his interest going, and how everything can be an inspiration for him.

Hi Will! Thank you for sitting down with me today! Before I bomb you with questions, for anyone who might not have the chance to know who you are, would you like to tell me a bit about yourself? Who are you and what is it that you do?

My name is Will Rhoten, people know me as Sober. I’ve been DJing since I was 16 years old. I am also an illustrator, a lot of the flyers you see around town, New York, and even overseas were done by me for myself and others too. I won’t say I am a photographer but I love taking photos and always carry a film camera with me. I’ve made zines before and overall just love putting things out that best reflect who I am and the things I’m into.

From tagging to flyers, beauty bar, Paradise, double Ds, Lady Love, and now all across curating the best of vibes through tunes. Could you tell me what the journey was like for you? How did you get to where you are now?

I got into graffiti and DJing when I was 16 and started dabbling in both. Graffiti came first because back in the day apart from equipment you’d need a record collection too which cost a lot more. Some kids in my school did graffiti and knowing how I was always drawing told me tagging was something I should try out. I started drawing in graffiti style and hanging out with other kids who were into the same thing.

I didn’t drink like how most kids were during that age, and because of that someone once suggested I should write the word “SOBER” and I really dug that. The same year I acquired a set of turntables and agreed to play at a party for the first time. The guy throwing it called me up for a DJ name to go on the flyer and I told the guy I didn’t have a DJ name and was put on the spot, I went with Sober since that’s what people already knew me for and already sticking. As I grew older, I decided I wanted the name to be more than an identifier but a literal lifestyle.

My life during that time revolved around raves and parties, as a kid I would go out to Dallas every weekend and stay up till the sun came up. I saw a lot of things that I shouldn’t have or in situations that weren't the best, knowing those incidents all revolved around substance I made a pact with myself to focus solely on music and not get caught up in what could be surrounding it.

Initially, I never thought I would be playing for a crowd. DJing was something I wanted to learn and I had only been practicing in my bedroom, there wasn’t really a goal I was working towards. But people around me saw my potential and the work I put into it, I kept pushing through and started getting booked for a few other gigs. It wasn’t until 2006 did I took the leap of faith, and left the marketing job that was making me so unhappy after talking to a friend of mine about starting our own party somewhere.

I can’t be thankful enough for taking that risk and leaving my steady job. It’s scary because nothing is guaranteed but for any creative type out there, when you’re faced with that fear daily it’s all about what you put into your craft and your determination, this life is too short not to be happy with what you do.

Our party took off, we got a lot of press right off the bat with lines wrapped around the block. Then, monthly parties turned into twice-a-month, at one point it became one every week going all the way to Houston and Austin. We were just trying to push it as far as we could, I put a lot of what I’ve learned from the marketing field into our promotional effort and eventually my solo career as time went on.

18 years later, it’s hard to believe it’s already been that long and I’m still here doing this. My journey has taken me all over the world, I’ve toured, been to other countries, played with DJs I’ve looked up to the most, and opened up for so many acts I grew up listening to. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t taken that chance in this life.

I want to push other people to follow their passion and their heart, turning them into a career and know that it is possible, again, life is too short to not be happy with what you do.

After taking that leap of faith, was there any self-doubt or a growing pain before you could fully see yourself as a full-time DJ playing for crowds?

I never really claimed to be a DJ when it was just me, my turntables, and my record collection. The times were different, back then it was a huge commitment to be a DJ, a record can be around $5-$20 and it’s not like you can download everything into one place, you need multiple crates of them to rock a party. Because of that, there weren’t as many DJs around when you needed to put all the money you make into the collection, and you probably won’t be left with much unless you’re already well-established in the scene.

I didn’t consider myself a DJ until I quit my job and started doing it for a living, but like you said, it took a while to set in. I remember playing some records on the very first generation of Serato Box, and I was terrified because our party blew up so quickly with a packed house every time. Having used to only playing in my bedroom and at house parties instead of a club full of people, I knew I had to keep their attention and learned quickly to adapt and adjust.

Playing for a party is less casual than a full house raging it out, there will be times when I’d be looking for songs while the ongoing one was about to end, or there will be times when I played them too long before my edits kicked in. So I put in the work, learned the Serato software, and worked to become better at being a party rocker. I would take anything people thrown my way whether it’s random gigs or playing at the mall for 5 hours, knowing I don’t have income aside from this, or three gigs a day wearing myself thin. It probably took me a couple of months to feel comfortable in that scenario, the back-to-back gigs and parties were something I was ready to take on because I was hungry for this, to learn and to play.

You’ve seen me dancing around from your DJ stand multiple times and from my observation, instead of going into a gig with a solid set in mind, you feel the crowd out and spin to go along with the emotion and make their night unforgettable. Has that always been your standard procedure or was it something you’ve honed in after playing the crowd for so many years?

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with the observation. For any good DJ sticking to a style so people know what to expect, they still need to read the crowd to a certain extent. You can play a certain style but even under that one genre, there are many factors like the mood or the vocals splitting it into different categories. I think as a DJ you have to be able to read a crowd, whether it’s your own crowd that worships you or people that don’t know you at all. Just like how artists cater their set list to different cities, the ups and downs differ every time you play, and knowing how to read the crowd creates that roller coaster of emotions for them, will always be an important part of the craft.

To answer your question, I didn’t play like that before. I learned how to DJ from a guy in Fort Worth and he taught me how to mix, it was all house tunes so it was easier to mix them and I hyper-focused on how to make them as seamless as possible. When I faced the choice between playing hip-hop or house because I couldn’t afford to buy records for both, I went with hip-hop and realized how many more records I’d need to collect with everything being on a different tempo. I still remember when I got my first four hip-hop records I couldn’t even mix them because they were on such different beats, that was when I realized what I got myself into.

I knew once I broke into the party scene playing for a bigger crowd I had to develop a style of my own. Before, I was playing at house parties or events where I was providing a vibe so to speak and not worrying about how to get things moving along, keep them interested, or how I was going to go from point A to point B with an x amount of records. There was a lot of trial and error as I changed things up and developed a style that works best with how I think, I don’t like to give a hard stop-and-switch music when I play but rather think steps ahead, knowing where we’re at now and how can I bring them to where they want tastefully.

From learning to scratch and spinning in your own bedroom to developing your own style of playing for a huge crowd, was there a moment where it clicked to you how powerful DJ can be once you’re on the stand, and did you make any changes after that idea clicked for you?

I’ve been to a lot of parties where people go crazy with the music, raves, and ranch parties in the 90s, but I think I was just a fan of the music and didn’t put two and two together in my head like that. One person can control how we feel throughout the night and take us on this journey, maybe I did understand it but I never saw myself in that category because I was just a kid doing it at home for the love of it.
After I quit my job and started playing at our monthly parties over at Lower Greenville – Zubar – with a line wrapped around the block, that was the moment when it hit me. I’ve got to keep them entertained, it was a do-or-die moment for me.
I had to step my game up, knowing there IS magic in DJing if they knew what they were doing and make a lasting memory for people there.

I want to talk about your Dallas Beauty bar days, a legendary era for Dallas nightlife before I even landed in the city. What was that time frame like for you?

I did it for 8 years so It was probably around 2010 to 2018. I played at the Beauty Bar in Austin before and there were chatters about one opening in Dallas, several people I know were talking about having a residency there as well. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only DJ they asked but the owner was interested in having me down for a night amongst their lineups. Right off the bat, I knew I didn’t want to do a weekend and picked Thursday night.

Thursday is when people gear up for the weekend and start going out, there might not be as big of a crowd as Friday or the weekend but I was up to the challenge. It wasn’t crowded right off the bat, took me several months to build the crowd up, but once we got there, it was pure insanity every week. The room in the Beauty bar was small, even those who played from a different city said it felt like a house party and never played in a room with that much energy before. I think that was the charm of Beauty Bar, it felt like home with the light fixtures, low ceilings, something that reminds you of one’s house.

Without fail, when midnight comes, insane energy and crowd would fill up the room till you couldn’t move. Up to a certain point I didn’t even need to cram flyers or post online to promote the night, I could be sitting at the house watching TV not wanting to move, and realize it’s Thursday, post something nonchalant on Twitter and the bar would be filled up like clockwork.

Doing something every week for 8 years can get tiresome, but once I’m there for an hour, I can never get tired of it. It was my baby, I built that from scratch and undoubtedly everyone who used to go out in the city had been there. To this day there would still be people coming up to me, telling me how good those nights were. Blake and Red Eye had their weekly on the weekend too. Beauty Bar was the spot man, to this day people would still bring up their time in the bar, it was truly something special.

People met their band members, and significant others there. I even DJed several weddings for people who met on the dance floor of Beauty Bar. At a certain point in your career, you would wonder if your job was positive or am I just adding to debaucherous behaviors. Memories shared with them are reassurances that there are people like 16-year-old me who don’t need things outside of music to have fun. Maybe they want to just dance, have conversations with friends, or sweat out their stress and frustration on the dance floor. It makes DJing a little more lighthearted, it’s not all about partying and drinking but more for people to enjoy themselves and let loose to what I play.

Do you have it in you to do another 8 years somewhere now?

Probably not *laughs

I don’t have it in me to do a weekly, they take a lot out of you. Monthly parties are cool because you have a whole month until you’re back playing and it gives you time to refresh on music to bring something new to them it also gives your crowd time to miss you and makes the nights exciting. Monthlies are just more conducive, especially having done this for so long, I think I’ll stick with that.

You’ve been drawing, tagging, and making flyers almost as long as you've been a DJ, how did you manage between these interests and keep the passion going after all these years without fully pausing on one or the other?

When I quit my job, I was so happy doing all the things I love, drawing and DJing were my foundation so it didn’t seem like work at all. Everything becomes a job when you start monopolizing and to keep things fresh, you have to have other hobbies to balance things otherwise you’d inevitably get burnt out.

Fresh out of my job, I was eager and ready to fully dive into all the things that make me happy. In the beginning, when we teamed up to do our parties, we would handle the promotional art directions, some were done in Photoshop and illustrations would be done by me to add to the mix. Around that time others would hire me to do flyers for them, I could be at home, sorting through my music and drawing flyers at the same time. Now I only take on flyer jobs for The Tiki Disco guys in New York because I love what they do and even now, I still have the same practice making them – tidying up around the house and listening to records – it’s both therapeutic and exciting to me.

I put out three graffiti-related zines from 2014- 2017, it was a lot of work but I was super burnt out from DJing when I started the project. Putting so much into the zines ended up making DJing exciting for me again. Focusing on things outside of DJing was a good refresher for me.

As far as graffiti goes, whether or not I’m doing it, it’s something I’ll always look at wherever I am. If I’m in another city I’d be breaking my neck trying to look at what’s in every corner because I want to see who’s up tagging here and if there’s anything familiar to what I’ve seen online. As a graffiti writer, that always speaks to me, and the city always feels alive when there’s graffiti around. Philly and New York are the birthplaces of graffiti as we know it and there’s no questioning how alive they are, they go hand in hand.

I didn’t do much with graffiti until lockdown when I couldn’t DJ for 14 months. A great friend Gram came and stayed with me for 6 days, we did a lot of art together and I felt like I was 17 and excited about painting again. I’m my own worst critic but he is such a wizard with painting and an encouraging friend, time spent with him taught me that I could be doing this and it wouldn’t be real without him as a great coach. He was always positive and had a great outlook on things, hyping up his friend’s work, I got back into doing graffiti because of him for sure. He’s passed since then but he is such a huge inspiration and probably one of the most talented people I’ve ever known.

To answer your question, as you move through life, there will always be moments when you can’t spend time with your many interests but you’ll always come back to it. I think that goes with anything that I enjoy doing, it may not be as consistent as drawing or DJing but they will always live within me, it just comes down to how my workload looked at the time.

Like how you’d be curious about their letterbox account when you meet a film lover or would love to take a peek at someone’s mood board, can you tell me what consists of your media diet and where you usually get your inspiration from?

My sources are all over. I think inspirations for me are within everything. From film, print, people, music, and my surroundings.

From the beginning of time, whether it was TV, film, magazine, or going to Tower Records flipping through magazines were all things I loved to consume. I’m a magazine freak and I’ve collected so many things in print because that was how you found out about counter-culture before the internet existed. You’d go on a deep dive when you saw a cool shirt, furniture, cool house, or dope editorial with cool people by going through all these hard-to-find publications.

So I’d say print materials and music. One thing about looking for records – regardless of the medium – the artwork is inspiring on its own. Sometimes I’d go to half-price Books and look through the dollar bin, maybe I’d find a hidden gem they overlooked but it’s also about the cover art. I like to look through these records I picked up and be inspired by the cover photo, logo, or labels and I’ll snap those just to keep them in the back of my mind in case they ever come into play in a new form.

People inspire me too. It could be a project we’re both on or just for comedic values, you feed off each other’s energy, and the back and forth constantly kept me inspired and energized.

Lastly, I’d say walks, I’m always looking around even when I go on walks, it could be a street I’ve never walked down before in my neighborhood, a house that inspired something I’d like to do in my yard, inspiration is all around us all the time.

It’s been four years since the pandemic hit and I’ve always wondered what my daily life might’ve been if I got to hear about you sooner or tuned into your at-home lives. What did you do to stay centered and sane? Did any of those new habits carry over now that things are back to normal?

First and foremost, friends. Sudie was my housemate at the time going into Covid and being terrified of what’s going on together. Having someone to spend that bizarre time with was really nice, I can’t imagine going into the pandemic while living alone. To know that you have someone in the house with you, they’re there for you is a comforting thought for sure. Sudie and I have been friends for a long time but we never got to hang out much with our busy schedules, during lockdown we started just doing fun random things together like old times, making burgers and eating on the roof, and even going on three walks a day.

One other thing the pandemic taught me was to live in the moment. I had been doing all these amazing gigs and parties but even when I was in the middle of playing, my mind was always five steps ahead on what to do next, and never truly enjoyed or took in the moment. I learned to slow down and enjoy things as they were happening as the world and my schedule slowed down a bit.

Later on, we started doing live streams with close friends, it was fun figuring out how to do that and we tried to bring joy to people in the comfort of their living room. The live streams were a way for us to stay sane and keep on playing music, sure you can’t feel the energy in the room since it’s all virtual but the live chats were just as fun as actual crowd interactions.

I also started a lawn care company because I had to figure out a way to make money since I couldn’t DJ for 14 months. I thought to myself, what’s something I’d enjoy doing without direct contact with people, after some long and hard thoughts I landed on mowing lawns. I used to mow my parents, grandparents, and neighbor’s lawn and I’ve always enjoyed the sense of accomplishment when you’re done, especially looking at the clean edge mowing lines knowing how messy it was before I got to working on it.

For the things that got carried over, one thing I’ve incorporated into my life from the pandemic is whenever I feel like my hustle mentality is taking over, I’ll try to take a step back. I definitely am not as present as I was during the lockdown but it’s something I’ll have to learn because nothing is for certain, there could be another pandemic next week and why not learn to savor the moments now rather than regret not doing it enough when we’re all forced to slow down again?

Having an interest in so many mediums and working in such an interesting background, I’m sure you have your fair share of traveling experience and exposure to different scenes across the states. What do you think sets Dallas apart from all the other well-known big cities or any other city you’ve been to?

Dallas really knows how to party and dance, they go extra hard when it comes to the dance floor

I remember when I first started playing at Houston and Austin, the parties were good and packed but if you cut the fader down and let the crowd sing along to a song, a packed room in Houston would sound the same as ten people in Dallas. I feel like we turn up harder than any other city.

I played a party in LA once, it was packed, and sure it was a day party but everyone was just so chill and hanging out. Ten people randomly in town from Dallas were right in front of the stand and they turned the whole thing into a dance party, their energy created an atmosphere that made others want to join in and start dancing too. The same thing happened at Purto Rico, there was a party next to the ocean and it was so stagnant until we showed up and turned it into a giant party, the energy that Dallas people brought to the scene was really something else.

Are you a Dallas native? From illustrating, tagging, and spinning to now burgers, you must’ve spent quite some time finding your identity here, what do you think of this city?

I grew up in the Dallas party scene but am originally from Fort Worth.

Dallas is great, we have so much talent in this big city. Some of the most talented creatives I’ve known are from here, many still live here and many moved to other cities and continue doing huge things. I think no matter where you are, you still represent the city you’re from and your hometown gets excited and proud knowing you have a sliver of the city in you as you make a name for yourself.

Dallas gets misconceptions and stereotypes of Texas in general so when people meet creatives or people from here pushing the boundaries and doing dope things, they’re always pleasantly surprised by the city. But the scene has always been there, you just have to dig below the surface, sometimes Dallas gets pigeonholed into one single identity but it’s so big that there have to be cool people doing cool stuff and, well, we are! It’s exciting to see more and more people taking notice of that. Even when other talents came to Dallas and played they would go and talk about how the city wowed them, and the more that happens the more there will be eyes on us and what we’re trying to build here.

The talent here is endless, it’s a growing city and whatever scene you're into is growing along with it. I really like it here, it’s home.

As I look around I can see a lot of your taste in a tangible form! Now the hard part is, what would you say is your most prized possession?

The most prized possession in my studio is my Condesa Lucia X mixer. Every mixer is handcrafted in Australia and the attention to detail shows. It's a work of art visually and audibly. I waited a year from the time I put down the deposit! Totally worth bif for a piece I'll have for years to come.

Herby is my best pal in every sense of the word. He's been there with me through thick and thin and helped me through the most difficult times in my life. He is a part of my daily life and helps make my house a home, from the tiny nail clatters on the hardwood floors, to patiently waiting for me to get home as he peers through his custom Chiweenie window at the front door. I love him more and more every day.

And we are almost at the bottom of my list of Qs for today, for those who are interested in getting into this business or starting something of their own. What suggestions or advice you would like to give them or wish you had known sooner?

With any endeavor, if that is new to you, you have to learn by doing it even if you had to learn it the hard way.

For instance, Herby’s, it’s been a learning process as far as we’ve gone. I’m a businessman in the sense of DJing but I’ve never been in the food or service industry outside of providing entertainment. So this is a whole new world for me and I’ve learned a lot since last year when we first started discussing the concept of Herby’s.

I would also encourage people to ask questions, talk to those who’ve done it before, and not be afraid to ask, there are no stupid questions. There’s been a lot of people in the local community before me that I’ve developed great relationships with because they’ve given me a lot of valuable guidance throughout all of this. They are busy business people so they don’t have to stop and have lunch with me, telling me how they were in the same spot once, but they did, and that I am really grateful for.

It’s been challenging but extremely rewarding, there's nothing like seeing your space full of people and seeing them smile because of the product you are providing, you can’t put a price on something like that.

That is why I can’t pinpoint a list of things I wish I’d known sooner because everyone I’ve talked to has dealt with the same thing, on different scales or more so at the same time. As people, as entrepreneurs, as creatives, and as someone starting something new, you need to give yourself grace and know that it’s not always going to be easy, you’ll learn some hard lessons that come with taking that risk.

To wrap this interview up, also because I am curious personally, what’s on the horizon for you? Are any “Big things coming” in the works for you? What would you like the world (whichever random soul stumbled upon this article) to know about?

Right now, I’m focusing on Herby’s and getting it to be a well-oiled machine. I would love to start traveling more, maybe another trip abroad hopefully at some point this year.

I want to work on Distant Groove as a record label and put out some music there. I would also love to go on another cross-country road trip again, there’s nothing like it, really puts things into perspective, and enjoying the music along the drive is a nice reset.

As far as anything else, I’m sure you’ll know as I announce them when they’re ready so keep an eye out.